I wrote a blog recently on Why Downsize? It talks about the two main reasons people should consider downsizing to either a senior living community or a more manageable residence as they age. The last paragraph reads:
“What happens is most people find they have increased energy, decreased illness, fewer doctor visits, and an overall more positive outlook on life shortly after they make the decision to downsize.”
I was posed an interesting question not long ago by someone who did in fact move to a senior community where she is loving life and enjoying all that this community has to offer. She asked me,
“Why is it that there are some people that live in a beautiful senior adult community and yet, they remain miserable, grumpy, sick, and tired? If it is supposed to be so wonderful, why are there still those people living in what is supposed to be such an amazing lifestyle?”
Here is my stab at two primary reasons why despite the obvious benefits to both maintenance free and 55+ planned communities, some people remain unhappy:
- Once a grump always a grump. That is who they are and moving doesn’t change
that. Unless they choose to change, they will continue to be the way they have been.
- They didn’t choose to move. It was chosen for them by someone else…likely someone well meaning and who loved them, but nonetheless, the choice wasn’t theirs. Maybe a spouse or a child “talked them into it.” Regardless…they didn’t willingly choose it.
The people that find that simplifying their lives actually improves their lives are typically the people that choose to do it of their own accord and in their own time. They planned it out. They made the decision, selected the place, and they did it. Those who are miserable are typically miserable because unfortunately they ended up being in a position where someone else made that choice for them.
This is all the more reason why I encourage my senior clients to plan ahead. Even if you never plan to move or don’t think you will ever need to do so for physical reasons, think about the “what if’s.”
- What if your spouse becomes ill or dies?
- What if you have an accident or unexpected illness?
- What if your home is affected by a natural disaster?
People who know me will tell you that I am an eternal optimist. I truly believe that we are a product of our thoughts and that we must guard them and protect them in order to create the life we expect. So it may seem a bit strange for me to ask people to consider the “what if’s.” The fact is, our bodies are only engineered to be in this world for a period of time. That is reality. Our souls will live on forever, but our physical bodies, like all things, will deteriorate and pass on.
My goal is to live to 120 (this is the age they are currently saying we are engineered to live to). In order to do that and do it joyfully with my health and senses about me, I must care both for my physical body and my spirit. That means reducing stress and anxiety, continuing to learn and grow intellectually and spiritually, and to maintain good nutrition which fuels my immune systems and my organs.
Having a plan to deal with the “What if’s” in life is part of being prepared. It’s like having a plan in case of hurricane, tornado, or fire. I like to make my own choices and I intend to do that until the day that I die. Being prepared and sharing my intentions with my family and friends helps to insure that I continue to be in charge of my own destiny!
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For nearly two decades Nikki Buckelew has dedicated herself to bringing together her heart for seniors, her education in counseling psychology and gerontology, and her real estate sales expertise to train, educate, and empower senior adults, caregivers, and senior care professionals in effectively navigating the moving process. Using her own real estate business as a laboratory for over 5 years, Nikki created one of the country’s first and most successful senior focused real estate models for mature moves. Having managed over 600 senior related real estate transactions and a team of senior move managers and sales professionals, Nikki now coaches and trains real estate agents, senior professionals, caregivers, AND seniors adults on it takes to navigate a successful late-in-life move.
